When Your Goal Feels Miles Away: One Meal at a Time

I woke up at quarter past five. Went to the gym and did a back workout that I was feeling in every muscle by breakfast. Got two kids dressed, fed and out the door. Sat down to work. And then the school rang to say my son was not feeling well, could I come and get him.

If I had looked at that whole day in one go at half five in the morning, I would have crawled back under the duvet. So I did not. I just did the next thing. Then the next thing. And it turned into a lovely, mish-mashy snuggle day on the sofa.

I bring this up because it is exactly how I think about losing weight.

You cannot look at the whole picture

When you have a big goal, whether that is a lot of weight to lose, or building muscle, or just feeling like yourself again, looking at the entire journey is overwhelming. Sixty-six pounds felt impossible when I was at the start of it. Of course it did. Sixty-six pounds is not a thing you can do today.

But a good breakfast is a thing you can do today. A pile of veg on the front of your dinner plate is a thing you can do today. A walk to school instead of the car is a thing you can do today. That is the only bit that is ever actually in front of you. The next meal. The next step. The next single set at the gym. You do not have to carry the whole picture around with you. You just have to do the next thing.

Never say "never again"

Here is where this really matters. Please do not tell yourself I can never have pizza again. I can never go to Domino's. I can never have ice cream. That is looking at the whole picture, and it is a disaster, because your brain hears "never" and immediately wants it more.

Take it one day at a time. One meal at a time. Today, I am having this lovely thing I made. Tomorrow is tomorrow. There are no rules when it comes to food. You can do whatever you fancy. You are just choosing, right now, at this meal, to do the thing that helps.

When you are overwhelmed, go back to basics

Some mornings I am not sure what I want to eat and the thought of being creative is exhausting. So I make porridge. Plain, simple porridge, maybe with cauliflower and banana blended in to make it enormous. Not fancy, not interesting, just what I love.

Repetition is genuinely helpful. It stops the brain overload of trying to invent something new every time you are hungry. Having a few meals you can make without thinking is not boring. It is what keeps you going on the days when thinking is the hard part.

And when you cannot face chopping, blend the onion, garlic and ginger with a splash of water and sauté the paste instead. Laziness is a valid cooking technique.

We are products of our environment

That day, my daughter wandered into the kitchen and asked for the leftover Brussels sprouts sitting on the counter. Not because she loves sprouts particularly. Because they were there. That is it. That is the whole thing. What is in front of us is what we eat, and what is in front of our kids is what they eat.

I keep the veg out. The cherry tomatoes live on the counter. The fruit bowl is at eye level. Not because I have amazing willpower, but because I have learned I do not need it if the environment does the work.

Eat with your eyes

One more little one. So often we eat with our eyes. If I put a modest portion of pilau and chana masala on a flat plate, it looks small and my brain says still hungry. If I spoon exactly the same amount into lettuce cups spread across a big plate, it looks like a feast and my brain is thrilled. Same food. Different plate. Try it.

And be honest about the grazing

I will finish with a confession, because I promised myself I would always be honest with you. While I was cooking dinner that evening, with a poorly boy on the sofa and a toddler under my feet, I grazed. Bits of this, tastes of that, not really registering any of it. I noticed, I did not beat myself up, and I made a note to put the snack platter out next time. That is all. Notice, adjust, carry on. No spiral.

Watch: The whole day, cauliflower porridge, chickpea flour soup and a mango kulfi for my Indian cookbook, is in Eating huge portions to get lean, and how to keep going when your goal feels far away.

One meal at a time, lovely. That is all it has ever been.

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Topics

• weight loss motivation
• how to stay motivated to lose weight
• weight loss goal feels impossible
• one day at a time weight loss
• overwhelmed by weight loss
• long term weight loss mindset
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• small steps weight loss
• plant based weight loss mindset
• Broccoli Mum