How I Handle a BBQ (and Any Social Event) Without Falling Off

It was one of those weekends. Fridge nearly empty, two kids, and a text the night before: family barbecue tomorrow at my sister-in-law's. Not a vegan household. No time to bake a tray of anything. Just me, the kids, and whatever I could grab on the way.

I get asked about this constantly, so let me walk you through exactly what I did, and then the bigger thing I learned about weekends that made a much bigger difference than any single barbecue.

Plan for the plate, not the party

Barbecues are actually easier than they look, because the best barbecue food is already plant-based. Sweetcorn on the grill. Potatoes and sweet potatoes wrapped in foil and thrown on the coals. A big bowl of fruit. Salad, if you skip the oily dressing.

So on the way I bought corn, potatoes, sweet potatoes, a melon and a bag of grapes. That was my plate sorted. I ate the corn and the potatoes and the fruit, the kids ate the corn and the potatoes and the fruit (and, to be fair, stole one of my potatoes), and I left feeling lovely rather than stuffed and sorry.

When I have more notice, I bring dishes. Mushroom burgers in buns with tofu mayo. A big mac and cheese made with cashew mozzarella. Sweet potato brownies. Chickpea cookies. Nobody at a barbecue has ever complained about extra food turning up, and it means there is something incredible on the table that happens to be exactly what I want to eat.

Preload before you leave

If I know I am walking into a room full of food I did not cook, I eat something light and filling before I go. A bowl of soup, a couple of carrots, an apple. Turning up ravenous to a table of sausages and crisps is how you end up eating things you do not even like. Turning up half full means you can be choosy.

Step away from the table

This is the little trick I want you to try. Partway through a meal at a social thing, get up. Go and check on the kids, top up your water, go to the loo, anything. When you come back, ask yourself honestly if you are still hungry. Nine times out of ten the answer is no, and you were only still eating because the plate was in front of you.

I caught myself doing exactly that with a plate of mash and gravy that same weekend. Halfway through, not hungry anymore, still eating because it was there. I actually said it out loud. Ami, you do not need to eat it just because it is there. It is a psychological game and that is just what works for me.

Change where you meet, not just what you eat

Here is the bigger lesson, and it snuck up on me. We went to a coffee shop that weekend, the way we always did, and I realised I did not actually want anything. Not a tea, not a snack, nothing. I was there because that is where we always went. And it hit me how much of my socialising was built around a food venue.

So we started going to the park instead. Same people, same chat, same afternoon, and no counter full of pastries in my eyeline. If you always meet friends at a restaurant, your consistency will always be under pressure. If you meet at a park, on a walk, at someone's house where you can bring a dish, it gets so much easier. The place you go makes a massive difference to your success.

Warm drinks instead of treats

At a barbecue, everyone has a drink in their hand. Mine is hot water with lemon and ginger, or a lemon, apple and ginger slushy I blend at home. It gives me something to hold, something a bit special, and it does not cost me anything. The same trick works at 9pm on the sofa.

You do not have to be perfect

Someone messaged me that weekend saying they know what to do, they just cannot start. I said the thing that unlocked it for me: you do not have to be perfect. Eat a head of broccoli before your usual Friday takeaway. Take two carrots with you to the restaurant. Add, do not remove. Those tiny wins build the confidence that propels you into the next thing. Perfection was never the entry point. Adding one good thing was.

Watch: The whole chaotic weekend, the barbecue, the empty fridge, the cannellini bean chocolate pudding that kept me full for hours, is in What I eat on a busy weekend and how I navigate a BBQ.

Bring the corn, lovely. Step away from the table. Meet at the park. That is the whole social strategy.

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Topics

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• Broccoli Mum