Everything I'd Tell My Younger Self About Losing Weight for Good

We have covered a lot of ground together over these weeks, and I have been thinking about how I would boil it all down if I could sit my younger self on the sofa and tell her the things it took me years to work out. No fluff, no caveats. Just the honest essentials I wish someone had handed me at the start.

I have been vegan my whole life, and I still spent years overweight and exhausted and stuck in the Monday restart cycle. So if I could go back, I would take her by the shoulders and tell her this: it is so much simpler than you are making it, and it is so much kinder than you fear.

Eat more food, not less, just lighter

The first thing, and the one that breaks people's brains a little, is that the answer was never smaller portions. I spent years shrinking my plates and white-knuckling through hunger, and it never lasted, because being hungry is not a sign it is working. It is a sign you will crack by Friday.

What moved everything was keeping my plates full and changing what filled them. Veg, potatoes, beans, rice, oats, fruit. Foods that are mostly water and fibre, naturally light for their volume. They let you eat massive, satisfying meals and still get where you are going, with no counting and no going hungry. I would tell her: you are a volume eater. Good. Use it.

Watch the oil, not the fruit

The second thing I would untangle for her is what to actually pay attention to. She was terrified of all the wrong things. Bananas, potatoes, rice. The very foods that fuel the healthiest people on earth, wrapped in fibre and water that make them genuinely hard to overeat.

Meanwhile the thing quietly stalling her was hiding in plain sight. Oil, about 4,000 calories a pound, glugged into nearly everything she thought was healthy. A tablespoon carries more than a whole plate of veg with none of the fullness. I would tell her: learn to cook without it and watch your portions get bigger. Stop fearing the fruit. Keep an eye on the oil, the nuts, the dates. That is where the hidden calories actually live.

Build habits instead of leaning on willpower

Third, I would gently take willpower off the table as a strategy, because she leaned on it constantly and it kept letting her down. Not because she was weak. Because willpower is a tank that empties by evening for everyone.

The people who get there are not more motivated. They have habits that run on autopilot. I would tell her: set up your kitchen, not your grit. Get the biscuits out of the house. Put the fruit where you will see it. Make the same ten meals on repeat. Take a banana when you leave. Brush your teeth after dinner. Make the good choice the easy choice, and you need almost no discipline at all.

Be consistent, not perfect

Fourth, and I would say this slowly so it landed: stop chasing perfect. One big weekend never ruined anything. It is the average over months that shapes your body, not any single day.

So show up on the dull days. Recover faster after a wobble instead of writing off the week. Treat a plateau as a detective would, not a judge. And go all in, properly, rather than half a toe in for five years like I did. Consistent, not perfect, is what actually wins, and it asks far less of you than the exhausting all-or-nothing cycle ever did.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend

And last, the one that underpins the rest. I would tell her to talk to herself the way she would talk to a friend who was struggling, because the relentless self-criticism she thought was keeping her in line was actually keeping her stuck. This was never about being small. It was about being here, with energy, for a very long time.

Health built from self-respect sticks. Health chased through self-punishment never does.

Watch: I answered a load of the personal questions I get asked, including whether I count calories and how I grew up eating, in Personal Q&A, where I grew up, more kids, calorie counting.

That is genuinely the whole of it, lovely. No magic, no misery, no starting over every Monday. You already know more than you think you do. Keep going.

Wish you'd known this sooner? Let's not waste another year.

Coaching is me sitting on the sofa with you and telling you all of this until it sticks. Apply below.

Apply for coaching

Free to apply. No pressure, just a chat.

Quick answers

Topics

• weight loss advice
• what I wish I knew about weight loss
• vegan weight loss lessons
• how to lose weight for good
• plant based weight loss summary
• eat more lose weight
• watch the oil not the fruit
• consistency not perfection
• lifelong vegan weight loss
• Broccoli Mum